I shot for the sky, I'm stuck on the ground

Do I really love him or am I addicted to the pain? The exquisite pain of wanting someone so unattainable.. I suppose there's a part of me that could find some excruciating pleasure in it.
I try to take it lightly, I really do, but then words start coming down against my will; like desperate tears seeking their way out, gasping for a little air, as if all the sadness inside were suffocating them. They fall out one right after another; an unstoppable spill of thoughts, painting unlikely scenarios full of perfect happiness, lulling me towards that sweet unconsciousness where I sometimes wish I could stay. Until a voice inside my head reminds me the sad truth: Dreaming about him is like dreaming about holding a star with my own hands. It's glorious while it lasts, but then I wake up to see it shinning beautifully, completely out of my reach. And it crushes me.